Confessions of a Kid's Worker: the three R's of sustainable ministry

Much like the 3 R’s in teaching (Reading, Writing, and aRithmetic) they don’t all begin with R. They have in fact been unintentional themes of the Growing Young Disciples conference, rarely a main point but often mentioned as an aside or in conversation around the dinner table.

Rhythm

This came from the opening talk of the conference, a long serving youth and children’s worker being interviewed about how he was able to stay in Ministry mentioned the need for the discipline to build rhythms into the work.
Gulp! I don’t and have never had much discipline or rhythm.
But it kept coming up in getting to know people as they asked me “What does your week look like?”
Gulp! Hard to describe because they don’t look very similar. I just don’t have a regular rhythm. We often have a staff meeting on a Tuesday morning except the first 3 weeks of my job it was anytime except Tuesday morning! It’s more rhythmic now and the flexibility is useful but that’s the one work event that’s fixed in my diary (aside from Sunday Mornings). So I’m going to help myself this year by building Rhythms into my life. Nothing inflexible, and knowing it will stutter and falter but with the grace to recover the rhythm and try it again.

Rest

The caring warning to be careful with my time, seeing a friend struggle to find their way after having powered through an illness and then having to take a long period of sick leave, the regular reminders that the work is God’s and not ours, we get a front row seat and the privilege of joining in.
God’s work does not succeed or fail because of me.
So I can rest, really rest, in a way that restores and refreshes me. In a way that shows my dependence on him and reminds me of it. In a way which centers my relationship with God and not my activity. So I’m going to learn how to do that better this year.

unRushed

A beautiful reminder that Jesus, with all he had to accomplish in his time on earth, didn’t rush. He stops and learns and cares about people even when others, even when his disciples, have different expectations of him. And I’ve heard that repeated over and over in prayer requests these four days, “Ask God to change my heart, so I love my young people better.” “I need to re-prioritise so that I’m putting people first.” “Lord, I confess that I get too concerned with what there is to do over the people I’m doing it for.” And that’s me. I’m not great at getting stuff done (check this website for further evidence) but tasks are easier to manage than people.
This year I’m praying that I have God’s love for people and can leave the rush behind.

Confessions of a Kid's Worker: Highlight of the Year

Is it a good idea to describe basically the first event of the year as a highlight?
I’m hoping to set a tone for the year rather than say that it can’t get any better.

But meeting with other Christians and hearing their stories, studying God’s word deeply and with great enthusiasm, encouraging each other in the work we’re doing, singing songs of praise with 400+ people and eating a lot of food? It’s going to be tough to beat.

If you’d like to start your year off in a similar way, then you should check out Growing Young Disciples. And they have plenty of other training opportunities and encouraging resources in case you can’t wait until 2027.

Confessions of a Kids' Worker: Reporting and Reflecting

I have to write an Annual Report - eek!
It shouldn’t have come as a surprise, it is in my contract after all, but it does raise some feelings of dread: have I really done enough with my time to justify the church spending it’s money on me rather than somewhere else? Are my priorities right? Did I just write a list of things I’ve done and not even mention God? How formal does this need to be?

I have now written a first draft; we’ll see if it needs to change much but I thought I would put my Reflections section (as it now stands) on here for general edification.

Reflections

One of the hardest things about children’s ministry is that you see the children for so little time, and there’s so much that could be done on those Sunday mornings but so little time to do it. It’s been particularly pleasant to have opportunities to see them outside of Sunday mornings; meals with families and some pleasing sync-ups with my volunteering with schools outreach – a familiar face watching me act for events in town and some John Newton lessons based in a primary school during Anti-Slavery week. It also means I really appreciate hearing from parents about the conversations they have and how they see their children growing in faith – it has been wonderful to see baptisms of so many teens this year who grew up in our church and learnt that they needed Jesus through the church as well as from their families.

The actual hardest thing, for me at least, would be putting together the rotas. Rotas are the worst. I have no idea how to get people to sign up in a timely manner; they take so much time and then I invariably have to change them because I made a mistake or there are unforeseen circumstances. I’m trying to get into a better mindset where each rota is a reminder that God does have it all in hand and that he is a master planner. Perhaps as the Spirit works to make me more Christ-like I’ll get better at this or at least find it less stressful.

Another challenge has been not being a youth worker, I love our youth group and I’m so happy to volunteer with them, but it can be hard sometimes to separate the two things and particularly to work out what counts as my hours. For example, I organised some youth activities for the days of prayer, and at the Weekend Away. It’s a hard balance of that being something I want to do, but it’s not my job and I’m not always sure everybody knows that.

Confessions of a Kid's Worker: Am I just treading water?

I hope and believe there will be times when there are more optimistic posts in this series. But I don’t think that’s going to be as the new school year starts, because there is sooooo much to do right now.

I wrote out another to-do list for this week and despite working last week some of the same things are still on there and all of these things are urgent and I still haven’t finished planning Exodus for this term and I don’t have a complete day to sit down and do that.

So what do I do when there’s too much to do? Blog it - even if no-one is reading these it seems to work at getting the problem out of spinning in my brain. Pray about it - which should be higher up this list but hopefully will become more of my instinctive go to as I keep doing this.

Dear God,
Heavenly Father I need you now, I’m struggling with the amount of things I need to do and how badly I seem to be getting on with things. I’m sorry for when I haven’t worked as well or as faithfully in the last weeks as I could have done and have therefore created this problem for myself. I’m sorry that, despite knowing your power and strength and love and willingness to help, turning to you is still not my first instinct. Please forgive me. Lord, would I be realistic in the future about what I am able to do and more reliant. Please give me the strength and motivation today to work hard for you - not to earn any favour (I know I have that because I am in Jesus who has all your favour) but to serve and to find the joy in working for you and with you in each of these tasks.
Amen.

Confessions of a Kids' Worker: The threefold problem of rotas

Are there people out there who enjoy making a rota? I hope so, but I am certainly not one of them. As I see it there are 3 enormous struggles with putting one together…

1. Timing it Right

   Rotas require bizarrely accurate timing. Too early and no-one has enough dates in their calendar to confidently fill it in. Too late and everyone is all booked up or you’re giving people no warning. Too many dates at a time and it becomes unwieldy and impossible to manage. Too few dates and you’ve barely sent out the finished rota before starting the next one. It’s a Goldilocks situation and I’ve yet to get it just right.

2. Minding the Gaps

   I don’t think we have an actual volunteer shortage at the moment… it’s just that there are some weeks when everybody who is willing to teach is otherwise engaged. Or the only available helper needs their DBS renewing. And when it comes to solving this problem my mind is as blank as those empty cells on the spreadsheet.

3. Watching the Changes

   The rota always changes. Often at the last minute. There is no rota immune to illness, sick kids, mistakes (mine mostly) or a simple change of plans. And like the Theseus’ proverbial ship there’s only so many changes you can make before there’s none of the original rota left and you wonder why you bothered in the first place.

Fortunately God doesn’t despair when faced with an empty rota. While I don’t have many organisational skills or find much joy in filling in the rotas I know God is an organiser. How could he not be? He had a plan for our salvation before the beginning of the world and he carried it out. That’s organised. The first task he sets Adam, as a symbol of him reigning over creation under God, is very much organisational one. Jesus is also an organiser; he successfully sends out the 72 (and I shudder to think of a rota that size), and his event planning at the last supper is meticulous.

So I need to remind myself that, as I do my job with as much grace and joy as I can muster, I’m displaying the character of God as I create, as I teach and yes, even as I organise the rotas.

Confessions of a Kids' Worker: There isn't enough time

Maybe it’s because I’m part time.

Maybe I’ve just taken on too much.

Maybe I’m just really, really terrible at managing my time.

Maybe I’m dreaming too big.

Maybe I have supremely unrealistic expectations.

Maybe I’m too easily distracted.

Maybe I should volunteer more of the rest of my time.

Maybe my priorities are badly out of whack.

But there isn’t enough time…

To plan. to pray. to praise, to prepare…

To answer emails, to choose songs, to read Exodus, to write material, to think through the leaflet for that event, to learn the memory verse, to make a rota, to organise that meeting, to think through all age services, to write that talk…

To get the job done…

Confessions of a Kids' Worker: A prayer for getting started

I’d say about 80% of the time I don’t want to get started. It’s really not that I hate my job I just haven’t worked out how to begin my work for today. Today I’m also facing the triple whammy of

• didn’t sleep well

• I’m having a flare up

• I listened to a really good podcast on suffering on the walk in and this is not the headspace I need to be in.

So I’m going to do what I ought to do more often, even on the days I know how to get started and pray.

---

Father in heaven,
it is so good to know that you are in control and that you have a plan, because I don’t. Forgive me for not being better prepared than I am and thank you than I can completely rely on you - in the big matters and these small day to day difficulties.

Holy Spirit,
please give me today the strength, joy and enthusiasm I need. Inspire me with good ideas and fill me with love for the church I’m serving. Help me to rely not on my own experience, or sugar, or a well thought out plan but on my trustworthy and reliable Father God.

Lord Jesus Christ,
As I work today I want to be working for you above anything else. Help me to put you above my to-do list, about the guilt of not-getting-things-done, above even the volunteers who need what I’ll produce. May my work today be full of your goodness and grace and glorifying to you both in what I produce, with you help, and in how I do it.

Amen and amen.

Confessions of a Kids' Worker: The necessity of dance breaks

Today is an email kinda day. As in my to-do list has six instructions that look like

• Email … about …

and one which says clear out emails, because I’ve been away and had visitors so I’ve just been dealing with the urgent stuff and not really sorting things out. I also have two instructions to print, one to edit and one to plan (although that one deserves it’s own to-do list).

This is not a particularly fun kinda day.

So what do you do when your job isn’t fun? Have a DANCE BREAK! At least that’s what I do (and also only when I’m on my own in the office).

The two bangers which absolutely get me moving, get me out of my head and give me an energy boost:

What do you do when you need an itsy-bitsy break?

Into the Spider-Verse and the Leap of Faith

Miles in his Spiderman costume and hody crouches on the side of a building.

A young Black-Latino boy crouches on the edge of a building, music swells, he takes a deep breath, pulls down his spiderman mask, braces himself. Then as the soundtrack asks -What’s up danger? – he leaps from the top of a skyscraper and plummets, out of control, down towards the street below him.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. I want you to understand why Into the Spider-Verse and this moment in particular mean so much to me. So, here’s the proper context for Miles’ leap of faith.

Miles Morales gets bitten by a radioactive spider and tries to take on the role of Spiderman. His first and second attempt don’t go well at all.

Miles Morales as Spiderman falls between some buildings screaming ‘AAAAA!’

It’s not something he can do by himself. When Peter B Parker appears on the scene, he finally has someone to show him the ropes (webs?): how to unstick himself from things by relaxing, how to use a webshooter, how to swing. It turns out there are more Spider … people (?!) as well, none of whom have time to teach him anything, but they can show him what it means for each of them to be a Spiderperson.

He sees their unique skills and, more importantly, how they choose to use them. He sees their response to those they’ve rescued and to when they fail. He sees them fight, and get knocked down, and get back up again. Despite the lack of radioactive spiders in my life, I also know people who have shown me what it looks like to live through good times and bad, how to use my talents to help others, how to keep going when I just don’t want to. These people are in my church, in history books, and on nearly every page of the Bible. But, while I very much want to follow their example, I’m also afraid. Afraid that unlike my heroes, I would fail and fall and hurt.

When it’s time for Miles to prove himself, he can’t. He’s not ready, he doesn’t know how, there’s too much uncertainty, too much danger, things have already changed so much! What if there’s no going back? What if it’s the wrong decision?! He asks Peter B the question we all ask before a big decision: “When will I know I’m ready?” And receives the answer no-one wants: “You won’t. It’s a leap of faith. That’s all it is Miles, a leap of faith.”

The circumstances are different for each of us, but we all know that feeling: too much hangs on our decision and we can’t possibly know the outcome – maybe it’ll be all we hoped it would be but maybe it won’t. I know that feeling, I had it when I got married; when I moved countries; every job application, every message to someone I don’t know… I bet you know that feeling too, maybe you’re starting your own business, learning a new skill, taking an exam. None of these things are as physically dangerous as Miles’ leap, but they’re a leap of faith all the same.

That’s when his dad comes to talk to him.

Miles and his dad separated by a door. they both press their heads against it wanting to communicate better.

You can see and hear and feel the love from dad to son. It’s always been there but it’s clearer, more raw, more vulnerable and more emotional here (I’m not crying, you’re crying) – and it’s only after hearing this from his dad that Miles is actually able to take the leap of faith.

Miles’ leap of faith is not one of blind faith anymore. He can follow the example of other Spiderpeople who have made that same decision. And while he, for sure, doesn’t know what will happen; he’s now confident that he will be loved, whether he succeeds or fails.

That love is what makes the difference for me. Even though I’m aware that the people who love me can let me down, because I let down the people that I love too, I can be confident in how much God loves me. And I hope that is something you know too. Just as Miles hears (again) his family’s love for him as he stands on that edge, every time I approach something I’m afraid of, every time I would rather flee than fail, I can look at the time that God himself went to the cross and died for me – looking at that I can’t ever forget how deeply, how perfectly, how wonderfully I’m loved.

When Miles finally jumps, the glass shatters, it’s stuck to his fingers because he isn’t relaxed about it, he’s scared – it’s a jump into the unknown but one that he can now make. And he doesn’t fall forever. He soars.

Miles as Superman rises between buildings, joyfully shouting ‘WOOOO!’

Kids in Church

Whether you have just 2 kids in your church or 20 or 80 who are regularly there you need to think about how to include them in your church family - both in services which they stay in for but also if they’re going out to a Sunday School or a creche.

The Gospel Coalition recently published this article: 25 Tiny Ways to Welcome Kids in Church which contains very helpful ideas for the adults in the congregation to know, love, serve and engage the kids. There’s only one idea here I disagree with: under love it suggests you carry a treat - but unless you know the allergies of and have parental permission for every child and are prepared to find every kid and give them all a treat I do not recommend this as a good tactic.

Since you’re likely to have kids in services over Christmas and you’ve got a chance to rethink how yo do things for the next year, check out my favourite ways to get children an young people involved in the life of the church.